Late night thoughts

Hi All,

I have realised that is very easy to judge people when they do certain things, and that is because we haven't walked in their shoes nor understood what they are going through.

You know before recently, I never understood why people liked to drink and why they say they need to not think and feel. Now I understand, I am going through some things right now and because of those things I am tired of feeling. Like sometimes I wish I could take something that will make me numb (not feel a single thing). My only reason for not doing this is because it's not just me but now when someone tells me that they want to I am not quick to judge because to a limit I understand their pain and can relate.

I never understood why people cut themselves or cause harm to themselves but now to a point I understand because there are times I would prefer physical pain to my emotional pain.

You know sometimes the situations we go through can destroy one if care is not taken, there are times I feel so down and I can only feel better or sleep better after I read my Bible(very true). Without my Bible I feel very depressed, I should read it more.

Sometimes I feel like I just want to run away from it all and I am so close to giving up but then the Holy Spirit just reminds me of the great plans he has for me, reminds me of my family members who believe in me and I keep trying.

It's honestly not easy at all. Sometimes I am so confused, I feel like I am outside my body. I am literally so confused about my emotions I don't know whether I want to cry, laugh, scream or whatever. There are times I am so desperate to talk to someone who will understand but then sometimes I don't even know what to say or what exactly the problem is.

Lol!!!! I wish God could just show me the answers and solve it all, sigh. I wonder....do people feel the way I feel too? I feel like I am a weirdo, I hate calls, I think my communication skills suck and that is because I just like being alone a lot. I feel out of place, I am like how are some people always happy, everytime!!!!

Ooo well blogging/writing about this was a good way to let some of it out. Thanks for reading.

                                                                                                             Your friend.....

Gloomy Day.....NAH!!!!

Hi All,

So today is one of those days where I am just feeling out of sorts.

Thinking about it, I think it is an attachment/friendship issue. Sometimes I think I want to belong and other times I know I don't want to belong.

Imagine I am a person's friend for sometime, and we seem to click but then I am gone for a few days and the person seems to have another friend they have clicked with. Then I begin to feel some sort of loneliness or begin to wonder if I did anything wrong or did I dump the person myself or was I just a bad friend or when I was away did I not keep in contact enough?!?!?!

And then you know how some girls can be, they never seem to mind their business, some girls can't help but talk more than it is necessary. 

So a girl will ask you, how come you and her are not hanging out as much, why isn't she talking to you?, and you honestly have no idea why this person isn't talking to you again.

So I was discussing with a friend about my thoughts on friendship, and I believe people who become friends really don't try to understand each other, they really don't take their time to understand the individuals they are friends with. Unlike in relationships between the opposite sex where both individuals take time to understand each other better.

In my opinion friendship is also a relationship that should be taken seriously like dating and not randomly like most people do. When you decide to be friends with someone then take the friendship serious like you would take dating.

Having a true friend is a wonderful thing, there is a joy that comes with having that person you can talk to about anything, knowing you will be properly understood and won't be judged. That friend you can absolutely be YOURSELF with and not have any reason to pretend. This is what friendship means.

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

Muhammad Ali

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Khalil Gibran

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.

Octavia Butler

These are a few quotes to show how important true friendships is, so lets learn how to be better friends and for those people who aren't trying despite your efforts, well their loss. There are other people who will appreciate all that you do.

So cheers to the wonderful friends out there....AND CHEERS TO MY WONDERFUL BEST FRIEND...I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS POST, KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE YOU, LOVE YOU AND GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR HAVING A FRIEND LIKE YOU.

                                                                                           Love,

                                                                                           your friend.

DO YOU????!!!!?????

Hi All,

Do you commit a sin, feel very bad and wonder if there are people like you who have committed that same sin and if they felt as bad as you felt?

Do you wonder if there are people like you battling the same struggles you are battling?

Do you see a good person and wish you could be good/pure like them?

Do you wish you could go back in time and erase some things from your past?

Do you think back on some mistakes and regret those mistakes so much, that you avoid thinking about them at all cost?

Do you think about how far you have gone in life and wonder why God still blesses, keeps and loves you?

Do you think about how much God blesses you despite your mistakes and your heart fills up with so much gratitude?

Do you think about all this gratitude you heart fills up with and can hardly find words to express it?

Do you think about how merciful, wonderful, loving God is and want to do everything to stay holy for him?

Do you promise to read your bible more but then hardly follow through despite your deep desire to follow through?

Do you try to justify those desires you know are wrong by looking for an alternative to them?

Well I do too. We sometimes think we are the only ones going through our various struggles, and that we are bad people or not good Christians or something is wrong with us. This makes it difficult for us to share with other people who have gone through these struggles and have overcome them, these people could be of help to us but only if we share with them.

I understand the fear of can I trust this person with my struggles, will this person tell someone else or will this person look at me differently....and then you get scared and decide to keep it to yourself. This doesn't help, rather it causes more issues most times.

Well there is one friend you can share all of these things with and that person is Jesus and he would always give you someone or lead you to someone who you can share these struggles with and will help. If you are like me, my next question is 'how do I know when Jesus is leading me to the person?'. Well I don't have an answer to that question but I believe if he is leading you to a person, there should be peace within you about that person.

Note it might not be just one person, it could be more than one person.

Really though the work really relies with us, like accepting help from God, sticking through the change process, self discipline, obedience and the likes.


                                                                  Love,
                                                                 Your friend

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Hi All,

One morning on my way to work I was thinking what really does beauty in the eye of the beholder mean?....

Like, I felt if someone is fine then the person should be fine to everyone else, you know.....

Then I got thinking and realised that beauty does rely on who is looking at you, you might ask what do I mean and here is what I think/mean...

In a class of girls where everybody has their different physical attributes; light, dark, short, tall and the likes. A girl might be picked to be the finest of em all and someone else can pick another girl and say she is the finest and this goes on and on. Some people might agree and some won't.

This happens because of the character of each of these girls, after meeting a person who you got attracted to because of the physical, what keeps you, makes you view the person differently, makes you fall in love or not fall in love is the character of that individual.

A beautiful person can become not so attractive if she has a horrible attitude. You know there is a saying that you attract who you are and that is mostly true plus there is a certain kind of character of a person every individual will find attractive.

A guy can meet a girl he feels is just alright to him, become friends with her, finds out she has an amazing personality and all of a sudden he begins to find her really attractive which he didn't at first when he met her.

Remember people are attracted too different personalities or characters of a person, so that character that makes a person find someone attractive can make someone else find the person less attractive.

Most of the time we are usually attracted to the kind of person that we are, so there is a danger of attracting that person that you are like and then the person exhibits those bad characteristics you don't like and you wonder....why do I keep attracting people like this, the first thing to do is examine yourself properly and check what isn't right about you.

We are all a work in progress, growing gradually and atimes the growing stage you are in is when you shouldn't be in a relationship but wait to pass that stage because in those times we usually get attracted to what level we are in that moment when you deserve more because when you move from that level the person might not move at the rate you are and then you begin to loose interest in that person.

So the best thing is to wait till the right time(trying and asking for help from God to inbibe this), wait on God to give you that person that is fit for you....remember the guys you were attracted to in your teens, I am sure at this next stage some of you can't even look at those guys twice anymore and why because you have grown out of that stage and they are not fit for you.

I am talking to myself as well, the key is 'BE PATIENT', don't be in a hurry. God has an amazing person in store for you and me.



                                                                                        Love,
                                                                                 Your friend

First Post

Hi All,

I basically started this blog to share my experience as a lady, my struggles and hope that people will learn from it. I also started this blog to learn from other peoples struggles, other peoples mistakes and hopefully other people will learn from it too.

I am not a pastor but a believer in Jesus Christ and I want to use this medium to ask questions, get clarifications, share my struggles and let fellow ladies especially, know that they are not the only ones going through whatever phase they are going through.

I am not perfect, made a couple of mistakes and if I can I don't want others to make those mistakes. I am a strong believer in God and he is so loving, merciful and always there to pick you up when you fall.

This blog will also include other fun stuff as time goes on. You can send me a mail to share you past experiences or ask for advice and indicate if you wont mind me posting it on the blog for others to learn from or to give advice.

Email Address: chrstnlady@gmail.com

                                                                                                             Love,

                                                                                                             Your friend....